We've discussed our own mental health and how mindfulness can be useful in our own self-care. Adjacent to that, or perhaps wrapped into mental health is addiction and substance abuse. We need to keep talking about mental health in all its aspects to remove the stigma our society has placed upon mental illness. Today I would like to talk a little more about addiction and particularly how those who are caregivers for a person or has a loved one battling addiction can use the resources that mindfulness provides to care for ourselves as well.
Wether you are recovering from addiction yourself or are supporting a loved in your life it can be exhausting and mentally draining. We often feel guilty for taking time to care for ourselves or we pour so much of ourselves in caring for another that we lose sight of our own mental and physical health. I was once caught in a never-ending cycle of being angry at one of my family members for allowing their choices and actions to put our family into such upheaval followed by guilt for feeling that way knowing that they could not control what was happening because they were too deep into their addiction. A counselor told me at that time, early in my life, that we can love that person and not like them at that moment. It was perfectly acceptable to feel that way. That opened a wellspring of relief in me and gave me permission to recognize and accept what I was feeling at that moment. I had not started my mindfulness practice at that time, but I can see now that this was a form of mindfulness by acknowledging what I was feeling and not placing judgement it.
Let me be clear here, there is no magic bullet to fix this. If there is, I have not found it yet, but I have found that mindfulness and loving-kindness meditations have helped me ground back into the present and release some of the pain, anxiety, and worry that I have dealt with in caring for my family members. We have practiced this one together in the past here in the Zen Den, but it is worth reposting. Before we begin the practice, if you or a loved one is struggling with mental health or with substance abuse, please know you are not alone. There are resources available for you and I encourage you to take advantage of them. If you need a safe place to talk to someone to help you find the resources you need I am available to listen and to help.
Preparation:
Turn off your monitors or face away from them.
Turn on white noise or soft gentle music if you so choose
Begin the Exercise:
Sit comfortably, closing the eyes if that feels comfortable to you, or taking a soft gaze in front of you if that feels more appropriate for you.
Stretch your legs out in front of you and recline your head back against your chair. Take a few moments to practice your box breathing.
Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold for 4. Unclench your jaw. Soften your tongue so that it is not pressed to the roof of your mouth. Repeat breathing in and out one more time at least.
Say to yourself: "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, and may I live with ease."
Breathe in and open your mouth to gently sigh out the breath.
Imagine as clearly as you can someone that you love unconditionally. This may be a parent, a child, a spouse, a pet. Anyone who you love wholly.
Keep their image in your mind.
Breathe in and say to them "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, and may you live with ease."
Breathe in and open your mouth to gently sigh out the breath. Let that person go as you breathe out.
Imagine as clearly as you can someone that you do not truly know. This may be a person who you passed on a walk, the person who bagged your groceries, the mail carrier. It may be difficult to visualize this person but see them as clearly as you can.
Keep their image in your mind.
Breathe in and say to them "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, and may you live with ease."
Breathe in and open your mouth to gently sigh out the breath. Let that person go as you breathe out.
Imagine as clearly as you can someone that you are struggling with. This may be a boss, a coworker, a customer, a family member. Imagine that person who is pushing all your buttons and with whom you are struggling with.
Keep their image in your mind.
While you may not be able to truly mean this when you say this at this very moment this is the first step towards releasing the negative emotions you have towards them.
Breathe in and say to them "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, and may you live with ease."
Breathe in and open your mouth to gently sigh out the breath. Let that person go as you breathe out.
Closing the Exercise:
Slowly reawaken yourself to your surroundings
With your eyes still closed or with the gentle gaze proceed with the following steps
Start by gently wiggling your fingers and toes
Rotate the ankles and wrists
End by reaching your arms over head and stretching your feet and legs out as if you are taking an early morning stretch
Slowly open the eyes and proceed with your day.
I thank you for allowing me to guide you through this practice today and for allowing me to share my own struggles with this important but difficult topic. May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, and may you live with ease.
-A
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