Did you know that investing in experiences instead of material items boosts your happiness and mental health index. Additionally taking the time to savor or be present in the moment will boost that feeling of satisfaction even more? I watched a lecture series on The Science of Well Being presented by Yale University Professor Laurie Santos. In this lecture she presented studies showing how our brains perceive that "things" will make us happy but when actually studied and measured it is experiences that actually bring us increased feelings of well being and happiness. She also talks about how savoring the moment and really paying attention to it enhances those feelings even more. Sounds a lot like mindfulness, doesn't it? An additional point she makes, which I found interesting, is how our minds will change the experience based on how we perceive it and what we allow ourselves to dwell on. I put this theory to the test last summer.
Our city does a Party in the Park the first Thursday of every month in the summer. Local bands are invited to play, food and beverage trucks are brought in, and a good time is had by all (typically). My husband and I look forward to these local events when we can make it to them. I decided to test this though out and perform my own experiment last summer. Friends who we had hoped to attend with us would not be able to attend. I felt myself start to feel disappointed that they would not be there. I had a choice to make, I could be disappointed that they would not be there or I could savor the experience of being able to spend time one on one with my husband. I consciously decided to savor the one on one time.
We arrived after walking to the venue to see two food trucks. One was a BBQ truck which he loves, and the other was a local pizza place. We went to the BBQ truck only to discover that they weren't serving BBQ that night and were instead doing a limited menu of dessert options. Their smoker had an issue and they were unable to get the meats prepared. Next choice in front of me. Be upset that I couldn't have BBQ or be glad that I could get a funnel cake before the Independence Day festival. I elected not to do the funnel cake since I really did need some type of substantial food but took a moment to savor all the happy faces of the kids waiting in line for their sweet treat.
We move to the pizza line. There was more than double the normal turnout for the event since the weather was absolutely perfect! That also meant that they only had cheese pizza left until their runners could get more product delivered to them. Choice 3 be happy that I am getting pizza, watching a local band play outside in perfect weather or be disappointed that I was only getting a cheese pizza that was overpriced due to the venue. I decided again to savor.
After we took our picnic blanket to the lawn pavilion the band was introduced and to our great surprise it was a band we know very well. Their lead singer is a friend of ours and his wife was a fellow yogi at our yoga studio! Excellent news because we knew that we were in for a good concert. But their sound was off and there were issues with the mics. It was starting to be disappointing again My next choice was to trust that the sound issue would be worked out and if not I was still getting wonderful time with my husband. It was too perfect a night to let minor issues ruin it for either of us.
I took time to point out how wonderful the weather was and how infrequently we get to spend time with just each other now that our middle boy and his son had moved back in with us. I talked about how fresh the pizza was. I laughed and joked about sending our friend, the lead singer, a text telling him his mic was off just to see if he checked his phone mid concert. The beverage truck had some of our favorite adult beverages and I mentioned how much better it was to be able to drink it in such a great outdoor venue. We saw our friend Rebecca from the yoga studio and took time to catch up with her and her kids. We began to relax and enjoy the moment we were in.
In the end, the band fixed their sound problem. We had a great meal al fresco, got to catch up with both of our friends at intermission, and spent time together. On the walk home we discussed what a great night it had been and how grateful that we were to be able to have the experience together. If we had continued to focus on what was wrong with the night instead of focusing on the very best parts of the night our feelings of well being and happiness would have been drastically worse for it and that feeling will continue to follow us for some time.
So the next time you find yourself having an experience instead of focusing on what is not living up to your expectations try focusing on the good that is happening right in front of you and see how you feel. Oh and did I mention there were fire jugglers and circus performers there last night too? I hope you all have a wonderful week!
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